My Horse Made Me Cry

So what does the horse woman do when there isn’t enough time to ride,

or if, when she does have a few extra seconds in the day, she happens to be unwell? I’ll tell you what she does, Folks…giddyupandwrite horsey blog

She Cries.

Oh yes. Not figuratively speaking, as in “her heart cried within her,” oh no.

I’m talking big fat, totally uncharming, crocodile tears made of salt and despair, dripping down the face of the over burdened Equestrian… aka, me. 

 My weep-isode involved copious amounts of tissues toilet-paper on account of my nose gushing like those scenes on nature documentaries when the monsoons finally come to the desert.

(I’m sorry if you suffered a mental image of a slimy, boogery desert! I just wanted you to know that my big cry was the real deal)

It started when I realized I hadn’t ridden my horse in almost a month, and before that, it had been at least another month, but the truth is-

though it was my horse-thoughts that opened the floodgates-

I was crying over totally unrelated things.

giddyupandwrite horse blog

        Me and my “issues”

Things that were beyond my control, and situations I was going through that, I’d never imagined having to navigate. I was crying because

I was worn down, burdened, and stressed to the max.

There were family issues and health issues and job issues, and just too many issues on my shoulders that seemed to be bearing down all at once.

I felt like if I could tackle each one individually I’d be ok, but combined,

…it was too much for me to carry.

 I’d been thinking about those situations before the deluge of tears began. I realized suddenly that…all I really wantedmore than anything-

      was to just get on my horse and ride…giddyupandwrite horse blog

… through the summer ripe fields with the wind in my hair, the flowers, and trees blurring together as we raced by…giddyupandwrite horse blog

… that’s when the dam began to crack.

One little leak… that tear just squeezed out from beneath my eyelid. Then another, impossible to hold back. Pretty soon what started as a few sprinkles was a full on rain-forest-downpour.

And then I did what everybody should probably do once in awhile…

I gave up holding it all in…

… and let it rush out in great waves of grief, frustration, hurt, and disappointment.

(and  People, let me tell you I do NOT have a good crying face…)giddyupandwrite horse blog

  Afterward, as I was cleaning up the soggy tissues toilet paper, I had the happy thought;

“Even when I don’t get to see her, my horse is still my therapy!”

It doesn’t matter if I get to ride often enough to satisfy my soul-deep longing or to spend that quality time brushing, petting, and breathing in the whole barn vibe. (Those things do tend to help of course!)

eve giddyupandwrite horse blog

        My Lovely Eve

It just took that thought about riding Eve to cause my overloaded emotional dam to crack… but that release brought such relief!

In life, we all go through seasons that leave us feeling broken, empty and maybe a bit disoriented.

There isn’t a magic “fix-all” solution, and we might have to endure even when we feel we’ve done enough. In that, all of us really do share common ground.

But here’s the thing-

if you have a horse, then you are blessed with a special kind of burden bearer…

They bear not just your weight in the saddle as you ride, but also

the burdens of your occasional sorrow, and overwhelming stress.

The “situations” in life will always be a part of our journeys…

… but it’s cool if you just let yourself cry it out sometimesgiddyupandwrite horse blog

… it’ll lighten your load a bit for the next leg of the trip!

So, give yourself a little grace

if you can’t ride as often as you like, or your commitments keep conflicting with barn time, or Life is just being a rude-dude, punk lemon-pusher.

When you feel overwhelmed, don’t forget, you are one of the lucky ones...

Lay your burdens on the back of your horse…

he’ll gladly take it, and gently let it go for you.

And finally, remember, even though you might have a super expensive therapist…

…at least he can be paid in carrots.giddyupandwrite horse blog

 

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